


A Devil's Prayer

by Lumiel_lightbringer



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Death, Depression, Emotional Hurt, Heavy Angst, Hurt, Hurt Lucifer (Supernatural), Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Prayer, References to Depression, Sad, Sad Ending, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-27 02:00:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21384229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lumiel_lightbringer/pseuds/Lumiel_lightbringer
Summary: "Father... I know you don't care about me... Or what I do anymore... But I just felt like saying that I- uh... I'm sorry... If you ever return, tell Mikey, Raph, and Gabe that it isn't their faults. If they even care that I'm gone. Or notice, for that matter... Goodbye"
Kudos: 48





	1. Chapter 1

~

Lucifer stares out the window, watching litter fly through the wind like tumbleweeds.

The trashed streets, void of any life, sit dark in Detroit.

"My Lord?" A voice calls, but Lucifer waves a hand, and the demon vanishes.

The empty house sits peacefully alone, creaking and moaning against the powerful winds.

Lucifer turns away from the chilled glass, a pitchfork decorating the frost until it fades.

He takes a knee beside the bed in the room, looking around with paranoia before dropping his second leg to meet the first.

Awkwardly clasping his hands, Lucifer looks up at the cracked ceiling.

"Father..." He begins, voice raspy.

It sounds foreign, praying, being an angel - albeit a Fallen archangel - and all that, but he isn't sure how else to get God's attention.

The Devil praying should do it, but who knows.

Lucifer does, though; deep down.

But he ignores it. Even if God doesn't hear his voice, even if none of Heaven does, even if no one hears it at all, he'll have put in the effort to try and get his Father's attention one last time.

"I know you don't care about me... Or what I do anymore..." He mumbles the last part, but shakes his head, he has to be loud - maybe. He's never done this before. He isn't sure. Maybe he should have asked a priest. No, no, those idiots live in a world of denial and lies, no priests.

"But I just felt like saying that I- uh... I'm sorry."

The words feel strange in his mouth. He has always wanted to say them - though not to God - but never had. Maybe he should have rehearsed this.

"I'm really sorry..." He reiterates, this time with more confidence, "I shouldn't've been such a dick about the Humans... Uhm..."

He looks around the room, loud winds whipping at the panelling and causing the glass to creak. His tainted Grace searches for life, and after finding none, continues.

"Uhm... Well... I guess what I'm trying to say here is... I get it. They are beautiful creatures..." He then tilts his head and mumbles, "Not as beautiful as Michael, or Raphael, or Gabriel, but... Better than me."

These words, though, leave his mouth as easily as the names of his siblings.

"I'm... I'm a monster." He nearly chokes on an unnecessary breath in, the exhale coming out a sob, "A disgusting, revolting, greedy, heartless bastard."

The voices whisper agreements, murmur insults at him that he can't help but admit out loud.

They're right, he realises, they were always right.

"And I think... I think I'd be doing the world a favour," He adds, voice cracking, "if I just fucked off to the Empty. So..."

Lucifer pauses. He's doing this. He's doing it, and he can't believe it.

The heavy weight of it all lies on his shoulders, sinking deep into his gut, "I'm sorry and..." A shaking breath in attempts to steady Lucifer, though the tears welling in his eyes refuse to recede, "I hope you forgive me."

A droplet falls, rolling down his rotting face, "Whether it be now, tomorrow, or centuries to millennia from now." Another tear, and another, and more and more join.

Lucifer shakes his head, a hiccup escaping his lips and he hates it. He hates this.

This... This weakness he feels, he experiences.

He all but chokes out the next sentence; "All I ask is forgiveness."

The world blurs and mixes in his red eyes, "But if that is too much, I understand... I... I truly love you Father..."

The air lies heavy around him.

Choking, suffocating the Fallen archangel with an invisible noose.

"If you ever return, tell Mikey, Raph, and Gabe that it isn't their faults. If they even care that I'm gone. Or notice for that matter..."

A glint of silver shines in Lucifer's vision, the metal cold against his flesh.

"Goodbye."

A wave of crimson waterfalls from his chest, decorating the silver with swirls and lines of rose.

Lucifer chokes on scarlet rain, his lips tinted the dark colour as he manages a genuine smile - the first in many millenia.

"Goodbye." He repeats, and an explosion of overpowering Angelic Energy fills the room, blinding any and all around.

"**GOODBYE**."


	2. Epilogue

~

A surge of overwhelming emotion kicks Michael, and he does everything in his power to hide it.

Standing up abruptly, sapphire eyes filled with burning tears, Michael walks briskly out of the meeting room, ignoring the confused looks he gets and the worried voices he hears.

"Michael?" Raphael appears at his side in seconds, a look of panic written all over her face.

The oldest stops.

Time around them nearly stops - the weight of the world on the archangel's shoulders.

Sadness, fear, paranoia, panic, emptiness.

Then, it all stops.

All of the emotions... All but one.

They all felt it, Michael knows now - Raphael's glowing ocean eyes say it all - they all felt it.

It takes them longer, but in a matter of minutes, the Lesser angels stop their movements, peering around the corridors with concerned faces.

Michael can't find it in himself to answer Raphael, or the younger angels.

"Michael, please, tell me you did that." Raphael begs, grabbing onto his jacket, nearly on her knees. "Tell me you did that!" She shouts.

Emptiness.

That's all Michael can feel.

Emptiness.

As if a chunk of his Grace was ripped out, leaving a gaping hole, void of all warmth and protection of the Host.

Emptiness.

Michael slowly turns to Raphael, tears having started raining down his cheeks sometime during his dissociation.

"Please." Raphael whispers.

The movement is nearly imperceptible, but the Healer catches it, just barely.

A heavy thud echoes in the silent halls as Raphael collapses onto her hands and knees.

Her body nearly convulses as she struggles to get air - unnecessary, but rather helpful to remain calm.

"Lucifer." Michael whispers, and the wave of agony for two he was holding it explodes out.

"**LUCIFER**!" He cries, and drops in a dead faint on the ground.

Somewhere in the universe, somewhere in the galaxy, in the solar system, in the planet, the cries of an archangel are heard by all.

The ground quakes and the sky pours with hail and rain and snow and lightning and thunder.

The screams and moans join in the mourning of Heaven until the choirs of the angels fill the universe.

And finally, finally, somewhere, in some universe, in some galaxy, in some solar system, on some planet, God cries louder than all of Heaven and Hell combined, as They feel the loss of Their son.

"_**LUCIFER**_."

God speaks in an overpowering sound that deafens, blinds, and kills the timeline They reside in.

"_**LUMIEL**_..."

"_**MY CHILD**_..."

God looks out, beyond the worlds and space that They have made and destroyed countless times, deep into the Empty.

"REST MY SON..." God speaks to the sleeping entity, whispering into their mind and filling their dreams with only happiness. After a moment, the entity hears the one sentence they ever needed in life.

"_**I LOVE YOU**_."


End file.
